at the risk of being "that girl"

i've got to tell you what happened, even though i don't want to be her... the girl who has nothing to talk about but her love life (i've always wanted to punch that girl in the face). but this is big news for me, so if i can now be inducted into the "that girl" club, so be it, i guess.

last night i'm on the phone with the dude and i'm telling him (again) that the only stressful part of THE BIG MOVE for me is knowing when IT will happen and all the logistics-related things leading up to IT. best as i can tell, once i touchdown in la la land, the sailing should be a bit smoother. so he suggests that i pick a date to move and we'll just go from there. so i do. april 1st. arbitrary, yes, but that's about the soonest i figure i can make it happen from my end, and the weather will be nice in both states so that's one less thing to worry about, right? he agreed, and if we were in the same place, i imagine we would've shaken hands so as to signify that we have a deal. fast forward to this morning: i come into work, bleary-eyed and half-awake, as usual. i get all settled and open my email and i have one from southwest airlines titled "ticketless flight confirmation" or something equally as important sounding. i open it, with furrowed eyebrows, because i haven't made a flight reservation lately and i'm guessing this is a surprise or a mistake.

it was the first. :)

it's a one-way ticket to los angeles, california, for the first of april, 2010, courtesy of scott.

so this is it. in just a little less than five months, there won't be any more guessing or speculating or talking about someday. i'll be living there, and not here. and i can't think about anything else this morning except my rad ass boyfriend, his sweet and much-appreciated gesture, and the myriad dollars i need to stow away between now and then.

HOLY FUCKING HELL.

that is all.

it's not that i hate pictures...

...i just don't ever post them because i'm so bad at taking them and doubly bad at being in them. so there's that. and i will probably regret posting this one, but, fuck it. halloween. mario mackin' on princess peach (in a cardigan... who knew l.a. would be so damn cold that night? totally ruined the effect). neither of us remembers this photo being taken, and neither of us knows why it's of such poor quality. maybe someone took it with their phone? regardless, it must've been pretty late, because the man is shirtless, which i know for sure didn't happen before midnight (luigi took his shirt off, and scott is not a person to be outdone when it comes to nudity). and that mustache? yeah, he grew that himself, specifically for this occasion. this is probably not the best pictorial introduction to my sweetest sweetheart, but it occurred to me that he has yet to make a physical appearance on the ol' blog, and i figured why the hell not. cheers to drunken PDA, yes?

happy anniversary to me

i lost two jobs in six months last year. it wasn't fun, but it seems like it's been forever ago. on the one-year anniversary of my losing the first, i was moving into my new apartment, and a bad memory was replaced. today is the one-year anniversary of losing the second, and although no momentous occasion occurs today to replace this date in infamy, i am boggled as to how much is different now than it was then. have you ever take those "real age" quizzes? there's a section devoted entirely to how quickly one's life changes and the stress those changes take on one's body, both physically and emotionally. it's been a long time since i checked my "real age," but as i'm looking back just over the last couple of years and all that has happened, i'm guessing i'm probably somewhere in my early fifties, as far as realage.com is concerned. and i'm not the only one; i can think of several people reading this blog whose lives are drastically different than they were two years, two months, two weeks ago. i'm wondering when (or if) this ever changes. what i mean to say is, do the changes become smaller and smaller? or are we forever radically different with the seasons?

no point to this post, really. just thinking about the job lost one year ago today, how upset i was about it then, and how completely inconsequential it is now. i suppose i should stock this feeling away for reference the next time i think the world is ending.

and so it begins (again)

time to get more hot and less flabby. SHIT.

so i'm going to try to get into shape. for real this time. i made a semi-serious attempt at making the ol' body hotter in the spring time, but that was mainly because the place i lived did not have hot water for showering and the gym did. so now that i can shower at home, why on earth would i go work out? :) but the time has come to stop looking like i've given up on being cute and start looking like an adorable 26-year-old girl who has absolutely no reason to be chubby.

don't get me wrong; i don't hate my body. i am 5'11" tall and i weigh approximately 165 lbs, which is less than your average giant girl. my bmi is 23, which is perfectly healthy and i'm not what i would consider a "big girl," although there have been days when my brain and my mirror have teamed up to convince me otherwise. i have a nice shape and when i'm taking care of myself i can sort of kind of be a little bit of a brickhouse. (you know, mighty mighty, lettin' it all hang out.)

but the problem is (and has been for aaaages) that i jiggle too much. and me no likey. so starting yesterday, it is game ON, body. i'll be getting plenty of cardio daily, joining a good friend for yoga twice a week, and i'm even considering joining weight watchers with another friend who finds herself in a similar i'm-super-cute-but-i-could-be-cuter-with-some-help position. maybe that sounds silly, but it can't hurt, right?

so i guess i'm saying wish me luck. god knows i'ma need it. and if we see each other in the next little bit, be sure to say bye bye to my beer belly. i'm hoping you'll never see it show its ugly face again.

it's time you knew

so, some of you have already heard about this and, despite the mixed reviews, i continue to find it hilarious and am hoping that someone reading this will integrate my new favorite running gag into their lives and it will bring them as much laughter as it does me.

we all know that if anyone can drive a joke into the ground, it's this girl. and with that thought in mind, i decided to put "that's what she said" on the shelf a few weeks ago and try something new. and the something new of which i speak involves the constant repetition of the word "buttholes." (hear me out; i swear to god it's awesome.)

it's quite simply, really. it works like this: say you and a friend are having a conversation about weekend activities, and your friend is trying to convince you to go somewhere. your friend might say, "come on, dude. it could be fun." you might then say, "buttholes: come on, dude. it could be fun." this sounds totally lame, and i fully understand that you might, at this point, find yourself confused as to why this entertains me to no end (although if you know me well at all you know that i am the world's most easily entertained human). but i promise that if you at least give it a try, you won't regret it. (i.e. --- buttholes: i promise that if you at least give it a try, you won't regret it.) (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!)

maybe you hate it, maybe you don't get it, maybe it'll be your new favorite thing. just wanted to share. xoxo

supplemental information

i re-read yesterday's post and its tone sounds really worried and hesitant and blue. but the truth of it is, despite all the scariness that i'll be facing pre-move, i am really really really really really REALLY really really jazzed to be doing this. and when i don't let myself focus too much on the logistics, packing up and heading west to jump with both feet into phase two of the most fulfilling relationship i've ever been in feels like the most natural thing in the world, and there is no doubt in my mind that my future in the big city with scott will be the raddest thing ever. just wanted to clarify. :)

oh holy shit

check it, i'm moving to california.

not today, and not tomorrow, but i'm moving to california next summer, when my lease is up. i am more excited and more terrified of this than i think i have been about anything i've ever done.

so here's the deal: i don't talk about my boyfriend in great detail on this blog. it creeps me out a little, and i can't really explain why. (sidenote: it doesn't creep me out when you write about your boyfriend / fiance / husband. i really dig it. you guys are so freaking cute. i just can't do it myself. reason #4,722 why i'm a little bit crazy, i guess.) anyhow, we've been dating for a year now, and he's fucking awesome. and i am awesome. and together we are awesome squared. so he lives in l.a. and i live here, and even though the long-distance lovin' has worked out thus far with much less conflict and much more ease than i initially anticipated, the time has come for us discuss (insert ominous music here) the future. YIKES. and the future for him, and the future for me, is, at least at this point, a future together. (jesus christ my blood pressure went up just typing that.) and since he is settled and successful where he is and i'm sort of vagabond when it comes to living arrangements and job situations, i will go to where he is. this move includes, but is not limited to, the following:

• selling most of my things to purchase new(er) things there
• parting ways with my sweet, sweet malibu (i'm not that torn up about this one)
• finding a job and an apartment and some new friends

and, in addition to the above stressful chores, i will also have to:

• get used to the fact that i'll be thousands of miles away from my family (i can already feel the tears welling up)
• be a plane ride away from friends i see all the time (i hate it so bad, i can't even tell you. this is a whole post in itself)
• come to terms with my insecurities in the land of the beautiful people
• understand that this could turn out to be the best or worst decision i've ever made (then again, i suppose every decision could be either the best or the worst one ever...), and be okay with letting the cards fall where they may

so i guess we'll just see what we see. this move is months and months away but there is much to do before then, starting with (for real this time) getting a second job. scott has already made it clear that he will do everything he can to make this transition as smooth for me as it can be, but i can't expect him to hand me a blank check, and this whole shift is going to cost some mega dollars. suggestions on gainful, part-time employment are welcome.

i may have been a little premature in posting all of this information. after all, disasters are unpredictable and all of this may have to be retracted. but i am nearly 100% certain that this is certain, that i am certain, that he is certain.

in conclusion (for now) to this incoherent train of thought, i suppose i can just leave you with this: i'm MOVING across the fucking COUNTRY for a BOY. who saw that coming?!?