tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54340997369637231582024-03-13T20:47:05.307-06:00check it, it's melissai have, too, been playing with fifty-two cards. just 'cause i play so far from my vest... whatever i've got i've got no reason to guard. what could i do but spin my best?melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.comBlogger245125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-10337785153854671132010-08-17T09:34:00.004-06:002010-08-17T10:06:53.784-06:00don't call it a comebackyo yo yo, it's update time! i hadn't even looked at my blog in so long... when i got here today i noticed that, for whatever reason, my template wasn't showing anymore, so i went back to the basic blogger style. i miss the green, but i kind of dig this one too. really though, you don't care about that, do you? nope, didn't think so.<br /><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> ALIVE and still in CALIFORNIA. that's the takeaway message for this post. :) i am, again, jobless, as my previous employer decided to close up shop. he cried when he told me, but he handed me a big fat check (that didn't bounce) so i didn't cry at all. so here i am again, home most of the day, wishing for employment but trying desperately to enjoy myself because i know these days won't last forever. plus, i've got some dolla dolla bills y'all so at least i don't feel completely dependent on scott.<br />as far as updating you on what's been going on here, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> not sure i remember anything outstanding enough to discuss... <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">scott</span> and i are having a fantastic time being together all the time, and, some time ago, finally ironed out most of the "holy shit we see each other every day instead of every six weeks" wrinkles in our relationship, which now leaves room for all the fun shit we do: beer festivals, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">crawfish</span> boils, x-games at the staples center, baseball games at angels stadium... there is TONS to do here, but, alas, most of it is so expensive that the coolest things end up being just a tease. the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">mlb</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">allstar</span> game is here?! SWEET! I WANNA GO! oh, the cheapest ticket is $150? eh, perhaps <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'll</span> just catch the highlights on <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">espn</span>. that kind of thing. :)<br />i got home <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">sunday</span> night from my first trip back to <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">arkansas</span> as a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-error">california</span> resident. it was NOT easy to leave. i mean, besides the fucking weather (HOW DO YOU EVEN BREATHE THERE ON A DAILY BASIS GOOD GOD THAT HEAT IS STIFLING I'M AN OLD LADY AND BITCH ABOUT HUMIDITY EVERY CHANCE I GET), i had <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">soooooo</span> much fun and miss all of my sweet <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-error">arkansas</span> girls <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-error">soooooo</span> much. *sigh*<br />so, i guess, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-error">california's</span> still alright by me. i need two things to really feel at home here: 1. a JOB (oh god i need a fucking job) and 2. a good girlfriend. i have a candidate in mind, but i think she might be a little too nice for me. she lives down the street and she is super awesome and fun to hang out with, but i have not heard her say one cuss word. ever. and that kind of makes me feel like i have to cut out my cuss words that i treasure so dearly. and to that i say, FUCK. but, regardless, at least she makes me feel like i have someone to talk to and i don't have to make <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-error">scott</span> my girlfriend. he is not a good girlfriend at all. :) so, basically what i'm saying is, i'm starting to make friends in the land of bitches and skanks, but if any of you gets a wild hair and wants to move here to be my buddy, i will make it worth your while in tap dances and hugs. anyone? anyone? okay, just think about it though. :)<br />so i suppose that's it for now. i have a PICTURE POST in mind for later in the week, but, as usual, don't hold your breath, 'cause <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" class="blsp-spelling-error">i've</span> been known to take brief hiatuses from blogging from time to time. ha ha. see what i did there? i downplayed my blogging <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_17" class="blsp-spelling-error">suckitude</span>. until next time, children. don't forget that auntie m loves you. :) <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_18" class="blsp-spelling-error">xo</span>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-22758180022316536082010-04-12T14:04:00.003-06:002010-04-12T14:12:48.477-06:00weekend win<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghIelh57J8ab3BDBAv4JzZBsZPsSj5_UWEM1ffDxUJQCdrsgasYNLLBxaE7DnoG4uxM-z1sEglcvsYXPiIdPl4u3x5loUz5MQUHisjg2g07cCwFyKRswRJ45ThNVZiCoF7ADby3AougKs/s1600/beer+fest.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghIelh57J8ab3BDBAv4JzZBsZPsSj5_UWEM1ffDxUJQCdrsgasYNLLBxaE7DnoG4uxM-z1sEglcvsYXPiIdPl4u3x5loUz5MQUHisjg2g07cCwFyKRswRJ45ThNVZiCoF7ADby3AougKs/s320/beer+fest.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5459344518505764770" /></a>okay, i've (hopefully) done the last of my "woe is me" blogging. so i moved away. no big deal. you're fine, i'm fine, life goes on, yes? :)<div><br /></div><div>california, so far, is EXCELLENT. there's always fun stuff to do, and i'm meeting new and fun people, and, although i am not yet employed (which is slowly making me nanners in the worst way), i'm keeping my head up. i am employable, and until i find something to do, i should enjoy the mini-vacation, yes? yes indeed!</div><div><br /></div><div>the above picture is from a beer festival we went to on saturday evening. $40 per person, and you can literally have all the beer you can drink. no, seriously. they never ran out, and with our group, that was a very real possibility! :) that's scott behind me, and next to him is his coworker jeff and his brother-in-law chad, that's scott's sister, stephanie, in the sunglasses, and scott and stephanie's hair-dresser / friend / rad chick krista in the middle. there were beers EVERYWHERE and it was an awesome day. </div><div><br /></div><div>yesterday was scott's birthday, and he had to go to work for a bit. BOO. my birthday plan was was to drink mimosas and lay on the couch together all day, since i knew we'd be hungover from the beer festival (plus we may have hit a couple of bars afterward... ooooopsyyyyy....). well, i got the hungover part right; neither of us was in good shape AT ALL yesterday morning. but getting called into work kinda ruined the other half. dammit. :)</div><div><br /></div><div>okay, that's it. it's been a long time since i updated with just normal shit, just regular happenings. i hope i haven't lost my touch! xoxo</div>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-82305332704335974082010-04-01T16:58:00.005-06:002010-04-02T10:33:12.732-06:00buckle upthis post is going to take forever to type. and i don't have any pictures for you right now, so <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i'm</span> offering this little disclaimer in case that makes you want to stop reading now. if it's pictures you're after, maybe check back next week? or next month? i don't know. you just won't get any today. <div><br /></div><div>okay, now that we've handled that little bit of business, here we go:</div><div><br /></div><div>SIGH. it's been forever since i updated, and normally that's not really an issue, because normally most of what i have to say is trivial and meant only as a vehicle to get thoughts out of my head before the suffocate me. but the time between now and my last post has been awfully full of so many things... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">i'll</span> do the best i can to catch you up, okay?</div><div><br /></div><div>so i went back to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">arkansas</span> at the end of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">february</span> to handle all my biz and tie up the loose ends and put that baby to rest and use several cliches in one sentence. it was fabulous and it was awful and it was amazing and it was terrible. i <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">must've</span> had some good <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ju</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ju</span> coming my way because it seemed as though, from the moment i got off the plane until the moment i re-boarded ten days later, pretty much everything went my way. before i went back i had these horrible thoughts that my apartment had been robbed or that i wouldn't be able to sell my car or that there wasn't enough time to pack and on and on and on. sometimes i have a little bit of a doomsday persona that allows my imagination to expect the worst possible scenarios at every turn. but my apartment looked the same, i got more than what i was hoping to get for my car, there was plenty of time to pack (and plenty of help, too), and so the only problem left with which to struggle was my severe, self-fulfilled, and i think well-earned emotional instability. i mean, after all the boxes were packed and the decisions were made, i couldn't get my head around the fact that THIS time would be the LAST time in a while that i would SEE her or LAUGH WITH him or get those hugs from THEM that i really really really really REALLY rely upon. my going away party was so much fun, and so bittersweet... if you were there, then you know. and if you weren't, i wish you were. a pregnant friend of mine left after a couple of hours, and i understood. i mean, we were in a bar. another friend, a new mommy, left soon after, and i understood. i mean, she had TWO brand new babies at home. but then another friend left (she had to work early the next day and i totally did not blame her for going)... and that's when i kind of lost it. it really started sinking in that everyone was going home. and it wasn't a "see you later" kind of situation. it was more like a "things won't be the same anymore" kind of situation. and maybe i cried a little. maybe.</div><div><br /></div><div>***does that make me sound like a brat? i didn't cry because everyone, at some point, went home. i mean, i wasn't stomping my feet like a little kid in an IT'S MY PARTY kind of fashion. i was just upset because going home meant i had to go, too. are we on the same page here? 'cause i re-read those last few sentences and i definitely sound like a little shit. just wanted to clear that up. as you were.***</div><div><br /></div><div>i filled up all of my time in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">arkansas</span> with my own business, and i would have much preferred being in the company of all the people that i had to leave. everyone had such a different reaction those last few days... but the three that stick out are the three that count the most. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">megan</span>, of course, cried like a baby. and i cried with her. we stood in the parking lot of my apartment complex and hugged and kissed and sobbed and laughed and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">i'm</span> tearing up now just remembering it. that was not easy. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">tatum</span> didn't let me shed one single tear, and i can always count on her for that. she's my chin up friend, the one who won't ever let any goodbye be final. i need that, and she fills that need. and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">kat</span> let a few tears fall, some of hers, some of mine. and then we dried it up and promised to see each other soon. and we will, 'cause that's how we roll. </div><div><br /></div><div>so now <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">i'm</span> here. and i am <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">absoLUTEly</span> having trouble adjusting. not to the weather (ha! this place is gorgeous), not to the traffic (it's really not as bad as people act like it is), and not to spending so much time with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">scott</span> (although that has had its ups and downs so far). no, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">i'm</span> having trouble adjusting to being away from all of you. i don't have a job. i don't have a car. i don't have any friends that are mine alone. all i have is him, which is enough... most days. :) i know it will all even out once <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">i'm</span> employed and making new friends and doing things for myself, but sometimes i just want to have girls' night and watch <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">antm</span>. i just want to drive 45 minutes to see my sister for the night. i just want to catch up on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">dvr</span> on my old couch. ugh. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">wah</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">wah</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">wah</span>. ;)</div><div><br /></div><div>oh good lord enough of all of that. today, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">april</span> first, was supposed to be the day i moved here. crazy, right? and, even though the previous paragraph would have you believing differently, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">i'm</span> really doing well. IT IS ALWAYS SUNNY HERE! and i get to see <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">scott</span> every day! EVERY DAY! and i haven't had to go to work in two months! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">i'm</span> excited about what comes next, and everything after that, too. :)</div><div><br /></div><div>much love from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">los</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">angeles</span>. i miss you like you wouldn't believe, but i wouldn't change anything about what i have now, not for one second. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">xoxo</span></div>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-86241661189198021472010-02-10T08:58:00.004-06:002010-02-10T09:13:54.476-06:00so here's what happenedi am currently in <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">los</span> <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">angeles</span>, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">california</span> and not in little rock, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">arkansas</span>, which is where i am technically supposed to be right now. a multitude of events lead me to this point and they are as follows: we left in plenty of time for me to get to the airport on <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">monday</span> afternoon. however, the SUPERBOWL CHAMPION SAINTS were landing at roughly the same time we were making our trek, and since everyone in new <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">orleans</span> had black and gold fever, the traffic was BA-noodles, as the entire city came to the airport to see the players land. by the time i got to the check-in counter, i had missed my flight. i NEVER miss a flight by my own accord, and so this was frustrating to say the least. while i was trying to figure out my next move, i called my sweet <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">kathleen</span> aka my ride home on the other side to tell her that i was most definitely going to be late. she informed me that the 20% chance of maybe a little bit of snow that was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">forecasted</span> for the little rock area late <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">monday</span> night had instead become a 100% chance of some pretty serious snow that showed up early instead. i don't even know if it was <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">sunday</span> or <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-error">monday</span> when it happened, all i know is that she emailed me a picture of the winter wonderland, and i knew then that, missed flight or no, i wasn't getting home <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" class="blsp-spelling-error">monday</span> regardless. so <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" class="blsp-spelling-error">scott</span> takes a deep breath and says, "why don't we both just stay the night in new <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" class="blsp-spelling-error">orleans</span>, and go to l.a. tomorrow?" well, i can think of a million reasons why not! i still have so much to do! <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> supposed to go back to work! my apartment is a mess! and that <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" class="blsp-spelling-error">dvr</span> is chalk full of important things that i really want to see! but i didn't care about any of that in that moment. i just said, "hell YES. let's do it!!!" so here i am, sitting on <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" class="blsp-spelling-error">scott's</span> couch, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_17" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">vacillating</span> between thinking that this decision is completely irresponsible, and thinking this decision isn't so much a decision as an acceleration on an already-made plan. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_18" class="blsp-spelling-error">i've</span> already talked to my parents several times, i talked to my boss, and <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_19" class="blsp-spelling-error">i'm</span> checking things off a list that must must MUST be taken care of. i clearly am i coming back; all i have with me is a weekend bag and i still have to deal with my car and my apartment and a myriad of other things. i think it'll be the weekend i was planning on having my bye-bye party so, for now, that plan is still in effect. until there is more news, i can just tell you that today's forecast is looking like a few teardrops, a ton of phone calls, some rest, perhaps a small panic attack and maybe some affirmation from friends in the form of "this was a good idea" comments? i don't know about that last part... you tell me.melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-82051921056182301462010-02-04T18:47:00.005-06:002010-02-04T18:54:39.638-06:00focus is not my fortethe following things are NOT on my mind twenty four hours a day:<br /><ul><li>getting out of my lease </li><li>selling my car</li><li>getting rid of all my furniture</li><li>my rapidly dwindling cash flow</li><li>my funny shape and its sore-thumb future in california</li><li>pesky taxes</li><li>too many bye byes to count</li></ul><p>my blood pressure is high, but so is my confidence... for a few minutes each day. :) SIGH. reminder for self: you're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you. aaaaand REPEAT.</p><p>off to new orleans for the weekend. if you're lucky, you'll see a picture of me all dolled up for the mardi gras ball. i know, i know, you're waiting with baited breath. </p><p>enjoy your weekend, loverbugs. xox</p>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-66008452575684177932010-01-27T14:31:00.003-06:002010-01-27T15:35:51.869-06:00i feel you, bro<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQNs3QIj6E1ZZwV5JbdLDTlFzZMXzgmO7u1-C4zF8NXzB-MN08xvwCOoe_yw0AZWaXbTT2Tbhhb-g82aSyGoHNhlz6zvCPEEFwgAvcPrqlpYEW6UD5euOpnoYucEi2QhsT4LeJVpTTato/s1600-h/storm+trooper.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5431520560331378722" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 256px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQNs3QIj6E1ZZwV5JbdLDTlFzZMXzgmO7u1-C4zF8NXzB-MN08xvwCOoe_yw0AZWaXbTT2Tbhhb-g82aSyGoHNhlz6zvCPEEFwgAvcPrqlpYEW6UD5euOpnoYucEi2QhsT4LeJVpTTato/s320/storm+trooper.jpg" border="0" /></a> so, today i <em>really</em> wanted to blog about what a big weenie i was being yesterday. i <em>really </em>wanted to tell you that i feel a ton better and that it's just one those funks i hate but am sadly prone to. i <em>really </em>wanted to express how i'm tough stuff and that yesterday's post was just a momentary glich in an otherwise smoothly-running system. i <em>really </em>wanted all of that.<br /><br />instead, the hits just keep on coming. after giving my boss roughly seven weeks notice that i planned to leave this job, this city, this state, he informed me today that he won't be needing my services that long, and starting tomorrow i'm training someone to replace me. he wouldn't give me a definitive end date on my employment, but if it's more than another three weeks i'll be amazed. i guess it's true; no good deed goes unpunished, huh? now, this news clearly has several effects on me, as i'm sure it would on anyone. let's discuss what this means, shall we:<br /><ul><li>my first instict was to say "fuck it" and roll out. i don't need this shit. but i didn't do that. awww, lookey there. baby's growing up. :)</li><li>i kind of sort of saw this coming yesterday and i'm not at ALL ashamed to tell you that i called my mommy and shed some sad little tear droplets. i'm certainly not sad to be leaving this job (jesus i have been waiting and waiting), but because i have lost control of how it's happening. </li><li>i guess i'm gonna be down a paycheck and a half. awesome? no. not even kind of. </li><li>work should be SUPER fun for the next little while. </li><li>there really should be a special font for when one is being sarcastic. see above.</li></ul><p>so check it, i'll still be here until march 7th(ish). i'll be damned if i'm going to let today's events spoil an otherwise rockin' plan to have a going-away party on the 6th. (uh, still no details on that, by the way. could we just go to a bar and play some darts or something? will you still come if it's low-key?) the goodbye "chores" i've been dragging my feet on have hit a sudden acceleration, but i've been extremely productive under pressure before, so this shouldn't break me. i'm developing a financial plan that should ensure my head is above water (and hopefully my shoulders too, and maybe even part of my torso) for the duration, so even though i'll be eating a lot of ramen and tuna fish, i'll be fine. and imagine all the gas money i'll save not driving to this fucking office every day! (seriously, i need a sarcasm font. i'm going to develop one soon.)</p><p>i'm all jumbledy, i know, but i guess my point is that i'm trying to keep my chin up. it's fine. i'm fine. that storm trooper and i are a little down in the dumps about our jobs getting blowed up, but really, we'll both be fine. i'm going to go home and drink a bottle of wine whilst formulating THE PLAN further. stay tuned. xox</p>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-58936389594065195202010-01-26T13:02:00.003-06:002010-01-26T13:11:57.241-06:00head gamesmy real self has taken a short hiatus and left in her place a pale comparison. and in this new person's skin, i am feeling anxious, poor, unattractive, lazy, boring, hyper-emotional, and disconnected. clearly, i am none of these things. well, except poor and i guess kind of lazy. and anxious sometimes... okay whatever. maybe i am some of these things some of the time but i am certainly not all of these things all of the time. i'm not doing things like i normally do. i'm avoiding calls. i'm crying some days. i'm really really really stressed out and not that psyched to admit it but sure that i'll explode if i don't. all of this, i'm sure, centers around the fact that i'm saying goodbye to most of what i know to be familiar in approximately six weeks. i'm leaving it for something different, something i'm sure is better for me in some ways and worse for me in others. and, in typical me fashion, i've left all the work for the last minute. there is no point to any of this, and i expect no sympathy or sweetness from anyone. because this feeling, i'm sure, is temporary, and in less than two months none of what is bothering me now will bother me any further. not the concrete concerns, anyway. just needed to write it down, you know?melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-78655758964293993892010-01-15T11:00:00.002-06:002010-01-15T11:03:22.549-06:00done and done<div align="center">i told them. </div><div align="center">i told them today.</div><div align="center">i told them today that i'm rolling out.</div><div align="center">it's all over but the crying.</div><div align="center">but that's just an expression,</div><div align="center">'cause i sure as shit won't be crying.</div><div align="center">six weeks until wheels up...</div><div align="center">i'm a complete mess of</div><div align="center">excited and scared and nervous and calm</div><div align="center">and a plethora of other emotions.</div><div align="center">but, suffice it to say,</div><div align="center">the countdown begins today.</div><div align="center">hold onto your hat.</div><div align="center">i'm mostly talking to me on that one.</div>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-68794370091061108332010-01-04T10:40:00.003-06:002010-01-04T11:08:17.678-06:00looking back, looking forwardi've been inspired. i'm not blogging that much anymore, and that's mainly because i always feel like i'm complaining. like, when i'm having fun or have good news to share, i usually want to be on the phone and don't ever considering writing anything down. but when i'm in a shitty mood and need to get something off my chest, that's when my brain chooses to remember that i have a blog and i definitely use it in those situations. so someone reading this might go back through these posts and think, "good god that is the saddest / meanest / most worried girl on the planet." not true... i don't think... and so in a fun change of pace, as aforementioned, i've been inspired by lady gray to blog something positive. what a nice change for me. :)<br /><br />without further ado, i present the top five greatest things about my life in 2009:<br /><br />5. getting my own place again. man, oh man, did i miss living alone. don't get me wrong, i loved living with tater bug, but baby needs her space. and now that i have it back, i'm not at all excited about eventually having to give it up ('cause i will eventually... sigh).<br />4. re-connecting with old friends. the internets were very, very good to me in 2009. the twitters and the facebook and all that jazz let me virtually hold the hands of people i have missed oh so much. quite thankful for this one indeed.<br />3. all the travelling! goodness i feel like i've been on planes or in hotels as much as i've been in my own house last year. this will be slowing up significantly in 2010, for all the right reasons. (winkety wink!)<br />2. babies, babies, babies! i've been so blessed to have the opportunity to watch close friends find out babies are on the way, have babies, raise babies. seeing my friends as mommies is amazing and awe-inspiring and they make me incredibly optimistic and more calm about the time in my life when i am in the same boat.<br />1. scott. yeah yeah, i said it. shut up. :)<br /><br />as far as resolutions go for the new year, i'm so bad at keeping specific ones like "stop biting nails" and "drink less beers" that i will just make one big, broad, sweeping resolution that i will more than likely just make every year from now on:<br /><br />be nicer to self. take better care of self. put self first. and once self is steady, dole out more hugs and kisses to important other selves.<br /><br />happy 2010, friends. love you all so much. :)melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-78257017850792818022009-12-08T11:11:00.004-06:002009-12-08T11:23:22.002-06:00cranky pants, party of one<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2zQ8ad8VIxJLuY2UReAWnxTMWt2-Vgz6uL87wLweJhbdF-JzFf9L8EuW_1XwIFmpkEal4ZYPhZ8TFoaGngpOMys4BQvcRjoXCj3FGh6EY1OmbAapvyugUL59ieNzxx0rw5Ndx82kBgs/s1600-h/pissed-off.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5412915376421016386" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 230px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2zQ8ad8VIxJLuY2UReAWnxTMWt2-Vgz6uL87wLweJhbdF-JzFf9L8EuW_1XwIFmpkEal4ZYPhZ8TFoaGngpOMys4BQvcRjoXCj3FGh6EY1OmbAapvyugUL59ieNzxx0rw5Ndx82kBgs/s320/pissed-off.jpg" border="0" /></a> boo. i don't know if it's the weather or the season or the holidays or what, but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">jeezum</span> crow i just CANNOT stay positive lately. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">i'm</span> tired, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i'm</span> crabby, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">i'm</span> stressed out, and i just really really really would like to snap the hell out of it. my weekend was super hectic and eventful in all the wrong ways, my job is increasingly tedious and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">unfulfilling</span>, my apartment is a wreck, my skin is dry and pale, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">christmas</span> is about five seconds away, and oh god, the rain rain rain and the cold cold cold. no amount of deep breathing or wishful thinking is negating the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">craaaaaaab</span> inside of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">meeeeee</span>. the good news is that what goes up must come down, and you know, vice <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">versa</span>. so i'll see you on the other side of this cranky-faced funk, friends. :) xomelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-16910654708745554362009-12-02T14:00:00.003-06:002009-12-02T14:14:20.973-06:00predicamentthis week marks a year of me working with my company. and in lieu of cake and ice cream to celebrate (yeah, right... i work with all dudes over the age of 40... no one celebrates like i do), <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i'd</span> like to ask for a raise. i don't get paid time off, i don't have a chance to earn overtime, and have not received an increase in pay since my first day. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">i'm</span> sort of a bad ass around here, and i think <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i've</span> earned a raise. the problem is, HOW THE HELL DO I ASK FOR A RAISE?! every scenario i imagine in my head makes come off sounding like an ingrate or a sniveling jerk. maybe it's because, deep down, i feel sort of like an asshole asking for a raise a mere three months before i say peace out to this place, but still. end date or no, i DO deserve a raise, right? i mean, it's been a year... right? help, friends. HELP. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ayudame</span>. how do i get more money for my (quasi) hard work? or should i just leave it alone?melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-32601956485338671212009-11-13T09:58:00.004-06:002009-11-13T10:05:58.874-06:00because it's friday<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSYTwXAUULFwDPFEDlisOJx9Ffa4zuum8C0_HjrCuILjswWx4rPqPnLNynpBkXxzIjS270DsiQi-t2SFRPxGnrOC5c1y60RQlcLjbNdRqPbPMda9d2vpt2PwynD1y-4dc3WLXAvNjSONI/s1600-h/america+(3).gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5403618872525604802" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 224px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSYTwXAUULFwDPFEDlisOJx9Ffa4zuum8C0_HjrCuILjswWx4rPqPnLNynpBkXxzIjS270DsiQi-t2SFRPxGnrOC5c1y60RQlcLjbNdRqPbPMda9d2vpt2PwynD1y-4dc3WLXAvNjSONI/s320/america+(3).gif" border="0" /></a> and because i can't stop looking at it, i present the most horrible / most awesome thing you have ever seen in your life, guaranteed. special thanks to jacob for posting this first. HILARIOUS, and sadly, an accurate representation of how the general public of our country sees the world. uh, you're welcome. ;)melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-19731934608657252272009-11-10T13:15:00.003-06:002009-11-10T15:38:09.576-06:00por las mamasso, the biggest part of this story is that i just found out that my very good friend <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">katie</span> is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">PREGS</span> and she's due in may, and there is no feasible way for me to be happier for her. i love her, and i love her husband, and they are going to be phenomenal parents. PHENOMENAL, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i'm</span> sure of that. i am already over the moon about their little bundle of joy, and that is the take away message from this post, okay?<br /><br />but, for your consideration, i submit the following and you tell me: is the most annoying thing ever or what?!<br /><br />so i found out about sweet <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">katie</span> bug's bun in the oven in an email, from an ex-coworker of mine / current coworker of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">katie's</span>. apparently, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">katie</span> pie's broken the news in her office through an email with an attachment of the ultrasound photos. so i receive this email, FORWARDED, from said coworker and the only thing it says is, "did you know?" HELL NO I DIDN'T KNOW!!! so i immediately call <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">katie</span> and scream "are you pregnant?!" and once she verifies this information i start to cry and say how excited i am and congratulations and all of that mess and she's all emotional and i think it's for the same reason... but apparently <em>she's</em> emotional because she's so pissed off that she wants to kill this particular coworker. see, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">katie's</span> plan was to make plans with me this weekend so that she could tell me in person, and coworker has ruined it. not only did i hear it from someone besides the mama-to-be herself, but i got the news in an email. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">katie's</span> not pleased, and i can't blame her. i really <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">should've</span> thought about that before i called her, but I WAS SO STOKED that i just couldn't think straight, you know? surely you know.<br /><br />anyhow, i guess my point is: tacky, right? <em>forwarding</em> an email with info like that? what if she wanted to surprise me personally (which she did)? what if she didn't want me to know? what if what if what if? help me out here, mamas, how pissed off would YOU be at this coworker?<br /><br />incidentally, yes, i know i'm sort of doing the same tacky thing by telling you here, but you don't know her, right? so it's different. i think...melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-32131076002452616562009-11-08T19:54:00.002-06:002009-11-08T19:58:53.486-06:00attention friendsthis is probably going to come across as very arrogant and self-involved, but i think you all know that i am those things a lot of the time, so i will say it anyway: i miss you. i want to spend time with you. before too long i will go and it will not be as easy to come over and split a bottle of wine, it will not be as easy to share a good hug, it will not be as easy to be friends. so we should soak up the easy while we've got it, shouldn't we? so, as of right this second, my free time is yours if you want it. see? arrogant. self-involved. but i love you, and i don't know how else to say it. xomelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-34211275263315342472009-11-05T10:28:00.003-06:002009-11-05T10:38:55.460-06:00at the risk of being "that girl"<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i've</span> got to tell you what happened, even though i don't want to be <em>her</em>... the girl who has nothing to talk about but her love life (i've always wanted to punch that girl in the face). but this is big news for me, so if i can now be inducted into the "that girl" club, so be it, i guess.<br /><br />last night <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">i'm</span> on the phone with the dude and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">i'm</span> telling him (again) that the only stressful part of THE BIG MOVE for me is knowing when IT will happen and all the logistics-related things leading up to IT. best as i can tell, once i touchdown in la la land, the sailing should be a bit smoother. so he suggests that i pick a date to move and we'll just go from there. so i do. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">april</span> 1st. arbitrary, yes, but that's about the soonest i figure i can make it happen from my end, and the weather will be nice in both states so that's one less thing to worry about, right? he agreed, and if we were in the same place, i imagine we would've shaken hands so as to signify that we have a deal. fast forward to this morning: i come into work, bleary-eyed and half-awake, as usual. i get all settled and open my email and i have one from southwest airlines titled "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ticketless</span> flight confirmation" or something equally as important sounding. i open it, with furrowed eyebrows, because i haven't made a flight reservation lately and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">i'm</span> guessing this is a surprise or a mistake.<br /><br />it was the first. :)<br /><br />it's a one-way ticket to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">los</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">angeles</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">california</span>, for the first of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">april</span>, 2010, courtesy of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">scott</span>.<br /><br />so this is it. in just a little less than five months, there won't be any more guessing or speculating or talking about someday. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">i'll</span> be living there, and not here. and i can't think about anything else this morning except my rad ass boyfriend, his sweet and much-appreciated gesture, and the myriad dollars i need to stow away between now and then.<br /><br />HOLY FUCKING HELL.<br /><br />that is all.melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-82747351436490049582009-11-04T10:43:00.004-06:002009-11-04T10:55:50.095-06:00it's not that i hate pictures...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIwkR__XViDQp3yoa2eZyOthB5iJtLPOTMYZbcbuhe3ebiLQCaLZZfZMAKkFX8BMqagwr88-vTUvDw-7Hdcc9cGfSJiaJi_avli2fa37ckittujimjYzVNKKQHNPeDtFJjaryXEW0MANo/s1600-h/Halloween.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5400291507488425474" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 282px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIwkR__XViDQp3yoa2eZyOthB5iJtLPOTMYZbcbuhe3ebiLQCaLZZfZMAKkFX8BMqagwr88-vTUvDw-7Hdcc9cGfSJiaJi_avli2fa37ckittujimjYzVNKKQHNPeDtFJjaryXEW0MANo/s320/Halloween.JPG" border="0" /></a>...i just don't ever post them because <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i'm</span> so bad at taking them and doubly bad at being in them. so there's that. and i will probably regret posting this one, but, fuck it. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">halloween</span>. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">mario</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">mackin</span>' on princess peach (in a cardigan... who knew l.a. would be so damn cold that night? totally ruined the effect). neither of us remembers this photo being taken, and neither of us knows why it's of such poor quality. maybe someone took it with their phone? regardless, it must've been pretty late, because the man is shirtless, which i know for sure didn't happen before midnight (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">luigi</span> took his shirt off, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">scott</span> is not a person to be outdone when it comes to nudity). and that mustache? yeah, he grew that himself, specifically for this occasion. this is probably not the best pictorial introduction to my sweetest sweetheart, but it <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">occurred</span> to me that he has yet to make a physical appearance on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ol</span>' blog, and i figured why the hell not. cheers to drunken <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">PDA</span>, yes?melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-44217838183171385002009-11-03T16:03:00.004-06:002009-11-03T16:17:30.975-06:00happy anniversary to mei lost two jobs in six months last year. it wasn't fun, but it seems like it's been forever ago. on the one-year anniversary of my losing the first, i was moving into my new apartment, and a bad memory was replaced. today is the one-year anniversary of losing the second, and although no momentous occasion occurs today to replace this date in infamy, i am boggled as to how much is different now than it was then. have you ever take those "real age" quizzes? there's a section devoted entirely to how quickly one's life changes and the stress those changes take on one's body, both physically and emotionally. it's been a long time since i checked my "real age," but as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i'm</span> looking back just over the last couple of years and all that has happened, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">i'm</span> guessing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i'm</span> probably somewhere in my early fifties, as far as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">realage</span>.com is concerned. and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">i'm</span> not the only one; i can think of several people reading this blog whose lives are drastically different than they were two years, two months, two weeks ago. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">i'm</span> wondering when (or if) this ever changes. what i mean to say is, do the changes become smaller and smaller? or are we forever radically different with the seasons?<br /><br />no point to this post, really. just thinking about the job lost one year ago today, how upset i was about it then, and how completely inconsequential it is now. i suppose i should stock this feeling away for reference the next time i think the world is ending.melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-13050340850335530952009-10-20T09:35:00.004-06:002009-10-20T09:50:44.216-06:00and so it begins (again)<div align="center">time to get more hot and less flabby. SHIT.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="left">so i'm going to try to get into shape. for real this time. i made a semi-serious attempt at making the ol' body hotter in the spring time, but that was mainly because the place i lived did not have hot water for showering and the gym did. so now that i can shower at home, why on earth would i go work out? :) but the time has come to stop looking like i've given up on being cute and start looking like an adorable 26-year-old girl who has absolutely no reason to be chubby. </div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">don't get me wrong; i don't hate my body. i am 5'11" tall and i weigh approximately 165 lbs, which is less than your average giant girl. my bmi is 23, which is perfectly healthy and i'm not what i would consider a "big girl," although there have been days when my brain and my mirror have teamed up to convince me otherwise. i have a nice shape and when i'm taking care of myself i can sort of kind of be a little bit of a brickhouse. (you know, mighty mighty, lettin' it all hang out.)</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">but the problem is (and has been for aaaages) that i jiggle too much. and me no likey. so starting yesterday, it is game ON, body. i'll be getting plenty of cardio daily, joining a good friend for yoga twice a week, and i'm even considering joining weight watchers with another friend who finds herself in a similar i'm-super-cute-but-i-could-be-cuter-with-some-help position. maybe that sounds silly, but it can't hurt, right? </div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">so i guess i'm saying wish me luck. god knows i'ma need it. and if we see each other in the next little bit, be sure to say bye bye to my beer belly. i'm hoping you'll never see it show its ugly face again.</div>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-51777582225208929212009-10-19T14:46:00.003-06:002009-10-19T14:55:18.194-06:00it's time you knewso, some of you have already heard about this and, despite the mixed reviews, i continue to find it hilarious and am hoping that someone reading this will integrate my new favorite running gag into their lives and it will bring them as much laughter as it does me.<br /><br />we all know that if anyone can drive a joke into the ground, it's this girl. and with that thought in mind, i decided to put "that's what she said" on the shelf a few weeks ago and try something new. and the something new of which i speak involves the constant <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">repetition</span> of the word "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">buttholes</span>." (hear me out; i swear to god it's awesome.)<br /><br />it's quite simply, really. it works like this: say you and a friend are having a conversation about weekend <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">activities</span>, and your friend is trying to convince you to go somewhere. your friend might say, "come on, dude. it could be fun." you might then say, "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">buttholes</span>: come on, dude. it could be fun." this sounds totally lame, and i fully understand that you might, at this point, find yourself confused as to why this entertains me to no end (although if you know me well at all you know that i am the world's most easily entertained human). but i promise that if you at least give it a try, you won't regret it. (i.e. --- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">buttholes</span>: i promise that if you at least give it a try, you won't regret it.) (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!)<br /><br />maybe you hate it, maybe you don't get it, maybe it'll be your new favorite thing. just wanted to share. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">xoxo</span>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-90645256270921397932009-10-07T07:32:00.003-06:002009-10-07T08:10:32.499-06:00supplemental informationi re-read yesterday's post and its tone sounds really worried and hesitant and blue. but the truth of it is, despite all the scariness that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i'll</span> be facing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">pre</span>-move, i am really really really really really REALLY really really jazzed to be doing this. and when i don't let myself focus too much on the logistics, packing up and heading west to jump with both feet into phase two of the most fulfilling relationship <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i've</span> ever been in feels like the most natural thing in the world, and there is no doubt in my mind that my future in the big city with scott will be the raddest thing ever. just wanted to clarify. :)melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-33979021526027276222009-10-06T09:55:00.006-06:002009-10-06T10:31:31.128-06:00oh holy shit<p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc0opYq1KSlaXECo66L7jwATBi4pUnKcvx53hV8IkRDne_SNNHNab7KPXRGl7_tQndvZl9ULIaDWDootl2aTLQShzZPCSlALlroz1ue9eTWy4mRcyHPU4DB1ZGwZkqc8oTw3IFk6FlMgk/s1600-h/la.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389516385478218626" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 270px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc0opYq1KSlaXECo66L7jwATBi4pUnKcvx53hV8IkRDne_SNNHNab7KPXRGl7_tQndvZl9ULIaDWDootl2aTLQShzZPCSlALlroz1ue9eTWy4mRcyHPU4DB1ZGwZkqc8oTw3IFk6FlMgk/s320/la.jpg" border="0" /></a>check it, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i'm</span> moving to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">california</span>.</p><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><p align="left">not today, and not tomorrow, but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i'm</span> moving to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">california</span> next summer, when my lease is up. i am more excited and more terrified of this than i think i have been about anything <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">i've</span> ever done. </p><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">so here's the deal: i don't talk about my boyfriend in great detail on this blog. it creeps me out a little, and i can't really explain why. (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">sidenote</span>: it doesn't creep me out when you write about your boyfriend / fiance / husband. i really dig it. you guys are so freaking cute. i just can't do it myself. reason #4,722 why <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">i'm</span> a little bit crazy, i guess.) anyhow, we've been dating for a year now, and he's fucking awesome. and i am awesome. and together we are awesome squared. so he lives in l.a. and i live here, and even though the long-distance <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">lovin</span>' has worked out thus far with much less conflict and much more ease than i initially anticipated, the time has come for us discuss (insert ominous music here) the future. YIKES. and the future for him, and the future for me, is, at least at this point, a future together. (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">jesus</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">christ</span> my blood pressure went up just typing that.) and since he is settled and successful where he is and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">i'm</span> sort of vagabond when it comes to living arrangements and job situations, i will go to where he is. this move includes, but is not limited to, the following:</div><ul><li><div align="left">selling most of my things to purchase new(er) things there</div></li><li><div align="left">parting ways with my sweet, sweet <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">malibu</span> (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">i'm</span> not that torn up about this one)</div></li><li><div align="left">finding a job and an apartment and some new friends</div></li></ul><p align="left">and, in addition to the above stressful chores, i will also have to:</p><ul><li><div align="left">get used to the fact that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">i'll</span> be thousands of miles away from my family (i can already feel the tears welling up)</div></li><li><div align="left">be a plane ride away from friends i see all the time (i hate it so bad, i can't even tell you. this is a whole post in itself)</div></li><li><div align="left">come to terms with my insecurities in the land of the beautiful people</div></li><li><div align="left">understand that this could turn out to be the best or worst decision <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">i've</span> ever made (then again, i suppose every decision could be either the best or the worst one ever...), and be okay with letting the cards fall where they may</div></li></ul><p align="left">so i guess we'll just see what we see. this move is months and months away but there is much to do before then, starting with (for real this time) getting a second job. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">scott</span> has already made it clear that he will do everything he can to make this transition as smooth for me as it can be, but i can't expect him to hand me a blank check, and this whole shift is going to cost some mega dollars. suggestions on gainful, part-time employment are welcome.</p><p align="left">i may have been a little premature in posting all of this information. after all, disasters are unpredictable and all of this may have to be retracted. but i am nearly 100% certain that this is certain, that i am certain, that he is certain.</p><p align="left">in conclusion (for now) to this incoherent train of thought, i suppose i can just leave you with this: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">i'm</span> MOVING across the fucking COUNTRY for a BOY. who saw that coming?!?</p>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-71480980592795992782009-09-24T14:37:00.003-06:002009-09-24T14:55:24.529-06:00extra extraif you can believe it, i'm posting about something other than myself. i know, i know. but pull your jaws off the floor, because today has been a ca-RA-zy news day and i wanted to share. as someone who reads cnn.com and time.com and, let's face it, people.com religiously, i consider myself a pretty news-aware person, and i sometimes feel like a 'dumb american' that my attention is drawn first to the human interest stories rather than the hard-hitting, need-to-know news. but today, it seems as though the human interest stuff has officially crossed over into need-to-know territory. allow me to elaborate:<br /><br />making friends, the southern way:<br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/09/24/lowery.fist.bump/index.html">http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/09/24/lowery.fist.bump/index.html</a><br /><br />local woman experiences waking nightmare:<br /><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33006136/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/wid/11915773/">http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33006136/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/wid/11915773/</a><br /><br />not the reason i'd want to be in the guiness book:<br /><a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2009/09/24/2009-09-24_big_baby_boy_weighs_in_at_19pounds_at_birth_in_north_sumatra_indonesia.html">http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2009/09/24/2009-09-24_big_baby_boy_weighs_in_at_19pounds_at_birth_in_north_sumatra_indonesia.html</a><br /><br />assholes still exist:<br /><a href="http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1925607,00.html">http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1925607,00.html</a><br /><br />am i right? crazy crazy crazy!<br /><br />incidentally, i think i would make an excellent headline-writer. and, yeah, i just went ahead and made this post a little bit about me. you had to see that one coming.melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-3489961911947387042009-09-11T13:48:00.005-06:002009-09-11T14:06:46.250-06:00t minus<ul><li>twenty four hours until b's baby shower, complete with baby name reveal</li><li>three days until early birthday dinner with tatum, my darling girl</li><li>five days until i am leaving on a jet plane for a long weekend</li><li>eight days until my BIRTHDAY (boosh boosh boosh)</li><li>twelve days until the official first day of fall</li><li>fourteen days until my lovely sister and i get to celebrate said birthday in true haney girl fashion</li><li>sixteen days until yom kippur, if that's your thing</li><li>five weeks until scott finally shows his cute face in central arkansas</li><li>six weeks until columbus day, which is of no consequence because i will probably be at work</li><li>eightish weeks until i dress up like mario of the mario brothers for halloween in l.a.</li></ul><p>more to come, kids. this time of year is always so exciting. :)</p><p>*it should be noted that at least one million exclamation points would appear at the end of each of the above events, if i had the time and patience for all that punctuation. </p>melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-7100365508185868602009-08-26T08:42:00.003-06:002009-08-26T10:30:42.325-06:00exposed vulnerabilitiessometimes, when i am in a relationship, i become certifiably insane. and this time is no different, not in that regard. but the complications added this time, the distance and the feeling, make me feel like perhaps i am ready to be fitted for a straight jacket. if he was here, if i was there, if i didn't think about him the way that i do, if i didn't wonder if maybe... then i could keep the crazy at bay, let it out in little spurts. but these days it seems that this particular brand of bananas can't sit on the shelf for any extended period of time. it crops up almost daily. and it's nerve-wracking. i am a girl who's used to solving problems with hugs and kisses (you know, after i've done some yelling and stomping of the feet), and forcing me to use my words (even though it seems i have them all at my disposal) can backfire. i don't say what i mean, or i don't say enough (shocking, right?), or when i get all of what i want to say out i feel foolish for having been bothered by whatever behavior it was in the first place. since we are so far away, i spend too much time rolling over situations in my head and wondering whether i am pissed off or if i am merely annoyed. and i can't help but wonder if it would be any different if we could hug it out when we need to. or, more accurately, when i need to. and he's really great, maybe the greatest (don't you dare tell him i said that). but he drives me crazy. or is it me that's driving me crazy? i just need some contact. more than what i'm getting, you know? real skin to skin. but even if i had it, would all of this nuts-o behavior disappear? when do you let it go? when do you relax? when do you give the guy a break (because of course he deserves it)? when do you settle into it and stop panicking every time something doesn't go the way it's supposed to, or the way you imagine it's supposed to? i'm not sure there are any answers. besides maybe deep breaths. and vodka. ;)melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5434099736963723158.post-9789450239280763642009-08-25T22:54:00.005-06:002009-08-25T22:59:24.146-06:00so it's almost bedtime......and you think that you're done laughing for the day, done smiling, done being entertained. you go outside to drink some apple cinammon tea and have a bedtime cigarette, and you sit at the top of the stairs yawning and thinking about how lovely the view of the trees is from where you are. and then, out of nowhere, the douchebag downstairs neighbor comes out of his apartment, gets halfway up the stairs with a bong in one hand and a beer in the other, looks up, sees you sitting at the top, turns around and goes directly back into his apartment, without a word.<br /><br />and then you laugh maniacally.<br /><br />for like two solid minutes.<br /><br />the moral of the story is: don't close the book on amusement, not until you are for sure asleep.melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01775855800488267209noreply@blogger.com3