Friday, April 27, 2007

beerfest 2007

so big meg is coming today. no, i don't think you understand. BIG MEG IS COMING TO-DAY. this makes baby very happy indeed, as my sister is my one and only. *quick freudian thought--is the reason i don't fall in love because no one will ever know me like my twin, therefore leaving gentleman callers falling short of an impossible standard not imposed but just always present since the day she and i were born? yeah, i took freshman psych. i know what's up. : ) then again i might be a total idiot.* anyhow, sister's on her way this afternoon so get ready central arkansas cause we built this city, we built this city on rooock and roll.
in other news, j-j-j-jenny will be in little rock tonight and that means i will too. i wouldn't miss it! jenny, jeff, kat, karl, meg-a-licious, me, pizza, beers. this, folks, is a recipe for what i forsee as a pretty nice little friday.
we're having a little throwdown at the house tomorrow night. since little meg's in town, and eric's coming too, and i'll probably be drinking my share and everyone else's, it wouldn't shock me if someone woke up like this poor guy in the pic. i am now crossing my fingers and saying a little prayer that that someone is not me. i do not think i would look cute in a neckbrace. hope everyone has a great weekend! don't do anything i wouldn't (that doesn't the leave the door as wide open as you'd think...)!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007


there's no place like home there's no place like home there's no place like home there's no place like home
i may be freaking out here prematurely, but this weather forecast does not look friendly at all. pretty much every state in this picture is in for (possibly) tornadoes, golf-ball to softball sized hail, and like 60 mph winds. i'm not gonna lie, BABY'S A LITTLE NERVOUS. if this thing gets nasty, please PLEASE take shelter because if you're reading this, odds are i love you to bits and don't want you to get hurt. unless you are some kind of anonymous blog-peeping-tom. and then i probably don't love you. but you be safe too, okay?

Monday, April 23, 2007

no, i am not kidding

just a quick note-- for the third time in less than 10 business days there is a gentleman outside in the park, with a microphone that's hooked up to a BULLHORN quoting scriptures. he's all by himself out there, and i wonder if you have to have a permit for that kind of thing. i may go and ask him when i take this afternoon's smoke break. weekend updates later. and finally, WHAT THE HELL?!? i mean, i don't see any burning bushes around here.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

i missed you, blog

wow. i haven't blogged in, like, six days. i wish i could say that is because i have had better things to do but, unfortunately, that would be a fabrication. i guess i just ran out of shit to say for a minute. but silence from me is always temporary so I'M BACK. let's see.... what of any importance or humor has happened... i know! friday night, some douche burned me with a cigarette and then knocked my drink out of my hands sending it straight into my cleavage (the little that's there). all this while asking me to dance. wow. welcome to little rock. saturday night we had a little impromptu house party which turned out to be a blast. except i drank too much too quickly and assed out like an hour after the party started. oops. (the picture above is from said party and i promise that tatum's tongue is not in jessica's ear. but it sure does look like that, huh?) i spend sunday moseying (sp?) around in west little rock with my roommate trying desparately to convince myself that, no, i do not need a 42" LCD plasma screen TV, regardless of what best buy says. do i?... and monday through today has pretty much been business as usual. by which i mean staving off the desire to kick coworkers in the shins and trying (probably in futility) to get my ass into shape.
so i guess that about wraps it up. see? you didn't miss much. ***incidentally, this is what i look like after 3 double shots of some pretty hard liquor and god only knows how many beers.

um, yikes.

Friday, April 13, 2007

i ain't skrrrd...

...but i am knocking on wood, holding a four-leaf clover, and chopping the foot off a rabbit right now. friday the 13th can't be all that bad because it is el cumpleanos de mi madre and it is my niece hannah banana's birthday too! oooh, i love birthdays and i love my mommy and i love miss hannah both to the moon and back. happy birthday to the loveliest ladies i know!!! (unfortunately, i'm pretty sure neither of them reads this. oh well. the sentiment is the same.)
oh and by the way IT'S FRIDAY BITCHES so i'm in a great mood this morning. plus, it's pay day. plus, for some reason my hair looks cute. plus, i'm going out dancing tonight with some work friends who i love love. PLUS.... okay i'm out of plusses.
anyone have any big weekend plans? i am supposed to go to the arkansas derby tomorrow but i don't know if the weather is going to cooperate so i am entertaining fun ideas for this weekend.
hooray for fridays! :)
p.s. it is also thomas jefferson's birthday. my niece thinks that means that they are related. she's 11 people. make of that what you will.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

i washed my face and that should be enough

it would be really nice if i could drag my ass out of bed before 7:30 every morning. i'm sure my coworkers think i'm an orphan by now since i come in here all scraggly and plain-faced. i promise you, girls who love to come to my cubicle and chit chat about nonsense, i do have a home and i understand that mascara application is crucial.
at any rate, it is a blah-ass rainy tuesday and i would so much rather be at home in my big warm bed then here in my below freezing office. and besides not having to change out of my pjs and napping all day, the biggest bonus about staying home would have been that no one looks at me like i'm a ragamuffin when i decide that the mascara can wait. : )
i love this comic. the first time i saw it i laughed out loud for about 2 solid minutes. is that weird? it can't be weird if it's true. love love love me some toothpaste for dinner.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

sunday clumsy sunday

ah, easter eve. everyone drank a little too much (SURPRISE!!!). most of the crew were students so i felt like a douchebag pretty much all night because my areas of expertise are limited to songs from the 80s and current ghetto lingo. i'm no geneticist, people, so my contributions to the conversation were few and ridiculous. no matter, i had fun anyway. : ) above pic is my darling jessica and me, looking like it's probably time to go to sleep.

thank you facebook. you have not only given me one more distraction from my job, but you brought back kaitlin ann parker, my once very best friend ever. we were roommates at tech and we were thisclose the whole time, until she moved to new york city and we sort of lost touch. and now a random internet site has brought her back. HOORAY! i smell a vacation...
in other news, big ups to my homegirl callie, who provides most of the pictures you see on this blog. she's tall like me, she smokes like me, and i adore her. i think this picture is hilarious. please make note of the pack of cigs rolled up in her t-shirt, greaser style.

Friday, April 6, 2007

those eggs are just jealous

good friday did not start out so good. boy, was i an a MOOD this morning. why? no clue. nevertheless, i was like a hot cup of crazy-time tea, spewing all over my co-workers and cubicle area. but i'm over it now. it's easter weekend, in case you didn't hear. in addition, there's a rumor that our office is going to close an hour early. i'm not sure how much faith to put into this sweet little friday treat. this is vaguely reminiscent of the snow day rumors back in school. "they're turning the busses around in the next town over..." don't give me that crap, office job. are we leaving early or aren't we? okay, enough. my brain is in 6,228 places right now so i should stop writing before i make a fool of myself. damn. it's probably too late. happy easter, bitches.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

wednesday night's all right for fighting

dear natasha, (c/o tyra banks, ANTM cycle 8), i despised you from the moment i first saw you on screen. you were tacky and thoughtless and only 5 foot 7". but, dammit woman, you've grown on me. you're no jaslene(you can say that again), but i must say a hearty "well done!" in regards to your performance on last night's episode. but, for safety's sake, don't quit your day job.

dear random UCA fraternity, fight night was badass. i hope you fed the "ring girls" (aka random sorority hoochies, aka future adequate strippers of central arkansas) some tequila before you sent them out to embarrass themselves that way. i envy their bravery and their orange-y tans. a few tips for next year: maybe you could start the show on time. some of us are getting older and can't be up so late. also, when you put a bulldozer in the ring (i seriously wish i had a picture of this guy. he was RIPPED UP. daaaaaaamn.), maybe you could pit him against someone who won't puss out in the first round. 250 lbs of fat cannot and will not demonstrate anything impressive against a solid 225 of sheer muscle. just heads up, you know.

Monday, April 2, 2007

why do good girls like bad boys?

(yes, i know the title is lame. but that's kind of an okay song.)
ha! celebrity dream date jason statham and that other guy from snatch look like they want me to come sit down and a cup of coffee with them. how nice. : )
monday was quick people. i spent an hour going over my insurance benefits with this lady from HR (who, incidentally, is just as sweet as pie. no i'm not being sarcastic.) and i have to say that i'm scoring some pretty nice swag in the world of benefits, folks. baby loooooves her some cheap-o doctor's visits. hope your monday was as non-brutal as mine. holla.