Tuesday, October 6, 2009

oh holy shit

check it, i'm moving to california.

not today, and not tomorrow, but i'm moving to california next summer, when my lease is up. i am more excited and more terrified of this than i think i have been about anything i've ever done.

so here's the deal: i don't talk about my boyfriend in great detail on this blog. it creeps me out a little, and i can't really explain why. (sidenote: it doesn't creep me out when you write about your boyfriend / fiance / husband. i really dig it. you guys are so freaking cute. i just can't do it myself. reason #4,722 why i'm a little bit crazy, i guess.) anyhow, we've been dating for a year now, and he's fucking awesome. and i am awesome. and together we are awesome squared. so he lives in l.a. and i live here, and even though the long-distance lovin' has worked out thus far with much less conflict and much more ease than i initially anticipated, the time has come for us discuss (insert ominous music here) the future. YIKES. and the future for him, and the future for me, is, at least at this point, a future together. (jesus christ my blood pressure went up just typing that.) and since he is settled and successful where he is and i'm sort of vagabond when it comes to living arrangements and job situations, i will go to where he is. this move includes, but is not limited to, the following:
  • selling most of my things to purchase new(er) things there
  • parting ways with my sweet, sweet malibu (i'm not that torn up about this one)
  • finding a job and an apartment and some new friends

and, in addition to the above stressful chores, i will also have to:

  • get used to the fact that i'll be thousands of miles away from my family (i can already feel the tears welling up)
  • be a plane ride away from friends i see all the time (i hate it so bad, i can't even tell you. this is a whole post in itself)
  • come to terms with my insecurities in the land of the beautiful people
  • understand that this could turn out to be the best or worst decision i've ever made (then again, i suppose every decision could be either the best or the worst one ever...), and be okay with letting the cards fall where they may

so i guess we'll just see what we see. this move is months and months away but there is much to do before then, starting with (for real this time) getting a second job. scott has already made it clear that he will do everything he can to make this transition as smooth for me as it can be, but i can't expect him to hand me a blank check, and this whole shift is going to cost some mega dollars. suggestions on gainful, part-time employment are welcome.

i may have been a little premature in posting all of this information. after all, disasters are unpredictable and all of this may have to be retracted. but i am nearly 100% certain that this is certain, that i am certain, that he is certain.

in conclusion (for now) to this incoherent train of thought, i suppose i can just leave you with this: i'm MOVING across the fucking COUNTRY for a BOY. who saw that coming?!?


Megan said...

do it. you're only young once babycakes. i'm so so so excited for you. and for a free place to stay when i finally make it west of oklahoma. HINT.

brooke knight said...


I think it takes a lot of balls to plan this and to share it, so thanks. There is no gain without risk, after all.

I think a second job that was not too grueling - like a bookstore or something - might be a good way to go. that way you'd be rocking an hourly without too incredibly much manual labor/sweat. what do you think?

miya p. said...

oh, OH, OHHHH, Hell YES!!! congrats panda bunny!

1. california is awesomely awesome
2. being in love is totally booshtastic
3. you are a rockstar


Jax said...

Awwww! I love it! That takes balls, lady! I seriously understand where you're at mentally.. believe me.. (hello, remember Chicago/China?). yeah. good for you! I'm proud of your decision and the thought process that you put into it! ROck it sister! And you'll like LA LA land!!

Leah Billings said...

Whoa, lady! This is some fantastically exciting news (and a little bit sad I must admit because we're all gonna miss the heck out of you, but the sadness is overridden by the fantasticness...and also the by the fact that we will all have a great reason to visit CA now!). Cheers to this!

emotional diva said...

ummm...as by far one of my most favoritest (is that a word? who cares! i just decided it is!) bloggers everrrr i must say that as long as you continue to be in blogger world that this big move you are making is awesometastic!

i will reiterate brooke here: ballsyyyy mama!! [i shall change your side link on my blog to this i suppose!] to plan it, to share it, and to put it into motion takes lots of balls. faith. hope. and excitement! yayyyyyy!!!

i also agree with brooke on the whole 2nd job thing. my you are lucky to be without children! LOL!

good luck and keep blogging. and if you go without blogging for longer than a day or two...i shall be back...commenting again...to remind you that you have readers. that are in the need to know group. hahaha! =)

ps. thank you for your blog comments! i really appreciate them and you!

Unknown said...

Wow! That is exciting! Will definitely miss you when you go, but I'll be sure to soak up some Melissalovesmybabyness while you're still here. Oh, and I have a good friend and a cousin in LA, if you want a jump-start on some non-boyfriend borrowed friends.

Sarah said...

Holy shit, woman. I'm proud of you. SUCH A HUGE STEP, but I have faith in you and know that you will rock Cali. I will miss you being close, but we really talk more on the internets that we see each other anyway. And, Lucia needs and Aunt Melissa out in Cali so that we can come visit!!!!!


Sarah said...

one of my favorite quotes:

It is not brave if you are not scared.

Eleise said...

I think that this is a long time coming. Whatever I can do to help just let me know. I love you and I miss you and I promise to come and see you.. I heard there are really cheap flights out of fayetteville direct to l.a. once a week. See you every Friday night. :)

Jenxee said...

Oh, Em, Gee! How exciting!! You will do great in LA! I have total faith in you, boo. Best of luck to you and I hope I can come visit sometime. <3 love love love!