Friday, August 14, 2009

an open letter to myself

dear melissa,

i know you say these things to yourself in your head sometimes when you're in a funk, but since you have found yourself in this spot again with no progress in having a new and better reaction, i figured i'd write down some reminders for you in hopes that maybe they'll finally stick:
  • not everything is a huge fucking problem. you act like the smallest nuisance is the end of the world sometimes, and it's getting old. you've seen some big bad shit before, and you've handled it (beautifully, if i may say so myself), so quit letting a crappy email or a missed phone call or a dumb comment weigh you down.
  • get over yourself. yes, you're the center of your own little universe, as that's as it should be. but yours is the only universe center that you occupy, and that is also as it should be.
  • it is no one's job but yours to make you feel better when you're down. you should really stop depending on anyone who will pick up the phone to do work that you know you can only do yourself.
  • projecting your piss-poor attitude on your sisters, your parents, your friends, and your boyfriend is rude and will definitely bite you in the ass at some point. i know you've seen proof of that; i was there, remember?
  • there is not, contrary to popular belief, a reason for everything that happens. you'd spend a lot less time drowning your boo hoos in wine if you'd quit searching for a non-existent answer. you are prone to over-analyzing, and it does nothing but wear you out.

please remember that i really love you and all your goofy neurotic tendencies. you know i think you're a bad ass, but there is always room for improvement. and this "wah wah, i'm in a funk" routine is really tired. funks serve no purpose but to waste your time and energy, and you always feel silly for having succumbed to them when they're over, don't you? you're bound to get the blues once in a while, but i'm just suggesting that you give in to them less often. i think you'll thank me later. don't forget, you don't have to be perfect to be better.

love you big time,



Jennifer said...

ummm i love this post and you. I miss you something terrible. Please come see me ASAP!

miya p. said...

was that letter to me? cause i need a good get-your-bad-attitude-in-gear-and stop-feeling-sorry-for-yourself kick in the pants like that.

now, the big problem i see here is this: having a bad day = not so great...but, you gotta know we love you and will always, ALWAYS be ready to listen, cheer-up, talk-shit or whatever you need - cause you're melissa and you're awesome and you'd do the same for us.

hearts and hugs all the way to saturn.

i hope life gets better for you.

katandkarl said...

xoxo darling. if you want to drown your sorrows in a stuffy spicy 5 rather than 1, i'm in. ha.

Leah Billings said...

I also love this post and also you. :)

Jax said...

1. I cannot believe I forgot to comment on this post b/c I LOVED it when I read it. I blame work email. Anyway, love it. Still. Good post. I need more.
2. TOTALLY lycra spongebob!!!! haha! Go to that link I put above his pic for hours of laughter. Seriously. GO NOW.
3. I miss being tan. I am seriously having issues with it. lol! (I remember you commenting that you were jealous of how cool I was with it. NOT COOL=me. lol!) XOXO!

Jenxee said...

Always remember, Jesslyn is a grrrrrrrreat listener and is definitely here for you anytime u need to get things off your chest. And also remember when shit gets you down, it happens to the best of us. It's how we deal with it that makes all the difference. love love love!

Sarah said...

this is rad. you rock. i love u.