perception is a bitch

this is what i am:

this is what i see:

do i have body dysmorphic disorder?

no, of course i don't have anything that sad or serious. all i have is an extended teenage case of the "i'm not cute enough"s and the "why don't i look like that"s. ugh ugh ugh. i recently started working out again, drinking (a little) less, and eating healthier. so why do i feel bigger than when i didn't do anything? since when does a pretty intense slash in calories (on most days) and grueling cardio equal feeling grosser than before? makey no sense. i mean, i'm not expecting my old self to show up overnight, but for cryin' out loud, the extra squish CANNOT get out of here fast enough.

okay, i just needed to get that off my chest. i'm still cute i'm still cute i'm still cute i'm still cute i'll be even cuter one of these days i'm still cute i'm still cute. will keep this mantra on repeat until at least 15 lbs are bye bye.