Tuesday, May 1, 2007

crybaby (not starring johnny depp)

so i'm a crier. big time. i cry when i am too full of whatever to keep it all in. it's not always sad; i cry when i'm too happy or too frustrated or too excited or too moved or too overwhelmed or too whatever. when it's too too much, my eyes well up. and i try not to feel guilty about being tear-prone, because we've all got vices. some people run to clear their heads, some people throw themselves into work to avoid dealing with stuff. i just let emotion hit me like a freight train and cry it out. it shouldn't make me feel dumb, but it definitely does. in recent history, however, i've been able to curb this tendency. all in all, things with me have been great and i'm trying really hard to think when i've been truly this satisfied and centered in my whole life. so no tears in months (no bad ones anyway). but all of that came tumbling down last night and this kid's ugly cry face (bless her little heart) had nothing on me. it all started with my stupid car yesterday morning and just went downhill from there. the whole day was marked to be shitty, and in that respect, monday did not disappoint. mama had a day, kids. so i finally got home at around 8:30, i changed into my pj's, i sat down on my bed, and yes, i cried like a little girl with a skinned knee. it was strangely therapuetic and completely cathartic. and even though things were really not any different after i stopped, i remembered how nice it feels to just have a little meltdown and quit trying to be so damn stoic when i feel like crap. after i dried it up, i slept like a baby (the two or three PBRs i had may have assisted in the log-like sleep) and i really feel so much better today, even though my eyelids were extremely puffy this morning. : ) so, criers unite. there's no need to be ashamed in allowing yourself a little episode when it is truly needed. my name is melissa, and i'm a cry-aholic. (now you all say, "hi, melissa.")
p.s. (i am a huge fan of parentheses.)


Big Mike said...

I cry when I get angry...which makes me not very imposing at all. I'm glad that your cry made you feel better, and I'll call you soon.

Jennifer said...

Ahhhhh honey! I cry too, a lot actually. Hope you are having a better day today!

Anonymous said...

more room out, than there is in doll! all better now???

K said...

Criers Unite! Hi Melissa!

(I miss being your pillow. I don't have a towel rack here.)

Anonymous said...

my poor little baby. :( i'm a crier too, sis. when you get down in the dumps, just remember some advice i was given by my best friend: "chin up, chin up." xoxoxoxo

Sarah said...

first, that kid is really pretty, even though she is crying.

second, it's good to cry--let it out girl, let it all out.

third, i too am a cry baby, as is jenny.

fourth, i hope you are feeling better. hang in there kid. wish i were near to take you for a beer!

we will see each other soon i hope! at least on june 9th for the engagement party, right? didn't you love the dresses. mmmmmmmmmm.