all RIGHT already

i have had just. about. ENOUGH. i think i change, i think i am indifferent. but the fact is i don't, and i am not. and it takes so little to remind me that i haven't forgotten. it's the same old shit going around and around and around in my head and i need something new to chew on. i know this will make some of you frown and cringe but COME ON FEBRUARY. surely a new month will paint all of it a different color. january has worn me out. i was worried, sad, confused, excited, content, confused again, then excited a little more, then sad all over again, pissed the HELL off, and now i'm just exhausted. i am done with you, january. you and your 31 days of BULLSHIT. shoo, scram, hit the bricks.

happy anniversary, blog

one year ago today, i started this blog. i was at kat and karl's house on a very peculiar night when it all began. after numerous beers and some pretty strange company, i thought starting a blog was the best. idea. ever. whatever gave me that idea? i'm looking for somewhere to lay the blame... and look where we are now. : ) it's been funny, it's been boring, and it's been therapeutic. i hope you've enjoyed it as i have. happy birthday blog! i'd say "and many more," but i'm not sure if i mean it...
incidentally, the night i started this blog is the same night i met this girl:
you remember, sarah bug? happy anniversary to you, too. xox

i mean, think about it

so a woman that a friend of mine knows is looking for a surrogate mother. and she's offering some pretty insane financial compensation in exchange for growing her baby. and while i will probably (probably...) not have to ever worry about whether or not i'm able to do something like that for someone, it got me to thinking... how much would it take for me to consider carrying someone else's child? would the money be enough? would i get too attached? if i knew i was just cookin' it for someone else, could i give that gift? i mean, to ANYONE? what if (knock on wood) someone i really loved needed that from me? could i help? not should i, but could i? i don't know this woman, and it's definitely not something to which i need to give any more thought than this, but it just makes you wonder, you know? could you do it? would you?

mark your calendars

la la la i had a gooooood day! and that's pretty much all i've got right now. i'm not that dramatic (at least i don't think i am...), but i think we can all agree that it's been a bit dramatic. but if what goes up must come down, it's only fair to think the opposite would work the same way. worries, be gone. sure, they'll be back. but for now, holla holla holla, troubles of mine. see you on the flipside. : )

check it, toto

so i wrote this post not too long ago (and, as a sidenote, i would put a link to it on the word "here," all fancy like, but i have neither the smarts nor the energy to find someone with the smarts to do so. please continue.) about appreciating the tempo of my life, regardless of whether it can be described as rapid-fire or glacial. i wrote that then, when my life could be described as the latter, and i was secretly hoping things would pick up. well, here i am to tell you that your mother was RIGHT, ducklings: you must be careful what you wish for. jeeez louiiiise things are crazy right now. seriously, crazy. and if you and i talk on the phone more than once a month, then you know all about it. and if we don't, it's probably better that you don't ask, or care, for that matter. because being my friend right now, sadly, involves nursing me through damn near every day that goes by. i'm not self-reliant right now, i'm not head-held-high right now, i'm not as invested in anyone else's life as i should be right now. i am an attention hog and, unfortunately, it's necessary. so what i'm saying is (again, can i say what i mean in less words? ever? i could probably highlight several "heres" right about now.), friends, just bear with me. it'll all come out in the wash. it always does, and it always will. and i promise that sooner rather than later (please please please) i'll be boring again and i can be better. until then, thanks if you're sticking it out with me. : ) xoxo

human weeble wobble

i can't say much, but i can say this. and it's not really fine, but it probably will be. : )

for real, though

how many beers do you have to drink before you realize you've gained 65 lbs? one tear falls for having to buy fat pants.

www.arbitrarynews.com

thursday things:
1. i am, as stated, bored off my asssssssss, although
2. i have plenty that needs doing, so maybe my problem is
3. i'm unmotivated.
weeknights are too short lately. when did that happen? every single day lately, i can't believe it's already 11 or already midnight. then i oversleep, then i do not look cute, and the cycle continues. maybe it's just this time of year. i know some of you hate on february (and boy, do you!), but i see the year's shortest month as just one more stepping-stone to longer days. so i say, bring it on feb.
i just bought kate nash's new album. go pick it up. or, for the more tech saavy (i envy you), download the songs. is that what you do? anyhow, get it soon, one way or another. you'll love it. and if you don't, you can check "trying something new" off your list of resolutions.
ANNOUNCEMENT: come see me. if you're reading this, i miss you. you don't even have to call first... although i'd prefer it if you did. would it help if i said please?
p.s. in case you're wondering, we patched it up. of course we did. : )

jokers to the right

uh oh... trouble trouble trouble. do you ever get caught up in other people's problems, no matter how badly you try to stay out of it? yuck. i'm in a bit of a pickle, because if i get involved i'll probably screw it up even worse than it already is. but if i keep my mouth shut (i'm trying, i'm trying, i'm trying) then it's as though i don't care, and i do.
i got my own worries, now, chil'rens. don't muddy me up if it's none of my nevermind.

extra extra

these t-shirts will be available soon on cafepress.com, courtesy of my roommate slade and i, who had WAY too much fun watching the caucus tonight. i'm 100% arkansan, but mike huckabee? seriously? *sigh*
p.s. who besides me thinks keith olbermann is damn near the most attractive man over 40 ever?