new kids on the block

so check it, i added two new links: one for chandle and the other for carrie. i do not know either of these girls but they both leave comments from time to time and i dig it. and since jessica's back from alaska and the conway parks bill passed months ago, it's time for some freshening up in the link area. so out with the old. done and done. i was going to add both of their pictures here but for some reason chandle's is not working out. what in the hell. anywho, there they are so check them out. very interesting, the both of them. : )
yo yo yo it's the last day of august. which means the official birthday countdown starts tomorrow. come on down, 24. baby's ready to get old!

i'm wondering...

about what kind of impression i make on people. last night we went out to trivia night and had a blast (i actually knew some answers! mark your calendars!). and since i didn't have to drive for the first time in a long time, i got a little silly. okay, a lot silly. and i was just so pleased with the company and the food and the activities that i was at about an 11 on the lovey-dovey scale. telling tatum i love her like a billion times? check. hugging jessica and telling her how much i missed her while she was in alaska all night? check. hugs and kisses for everyone (and i mean damn near EVERYONE)? check. don't get it twisted; i am bothered by none of this. i am a people person and i'm very touch-touch-touchy with folks and i don't mind a bit when people are the same way with me (mostly.... i'm talking to you, creepy fax guy). and usually i don't give this behavior a second thought. but what if someone doesn't like it? and what if they're not telling me? uh oh. so let me know right? cause i can keep myself to myself if it's not okay. : )

harder better faster stronger

1) oh jeez i had a blast at dock night. i did not feel self-conscious in my bathing suit (but it was pitch-black... he he he), i found out i can rap even when i'm not 100% awake (or sober), and the leaf is officially turned over.
2) i'm back to kicking total ass at work. you can't handle me, cubicle. don't even try.
3) birthday is only 22 days away. and 22 is my favorite number. and birthday is my favorite day.
4) kanye west's new cd comes out on the 11th. that ain't far, folks. and I. AM. READY.
5) august aka hottest month EVER is coming to a close. and september smells like freshly-sharpened pencils, chocolate cake with buttercream icing, and temperatures less than 100 degrees.
6) i haven't got much else to say. EXCEPT....
7) let's hang out soon. i haven't seen some of you in far too long. you know, we've got a three-day weekend coming...

i'm ready i'm ready i'm ready

that, friends, is bull shoals lake. and that, friends, is where i'm going. and that, friends, is where i need to be. in regards to my last post: um, what the hell, melissa. i should know better than to drink and blog. ***sidenote: how sad is it that while drinking tuesday night, the most interesting thing i could think to do was update my blog? i mean really. i should've been out setting things on fire. okay maybe something a little less intense but still. my lame ass was blogging. PAthetic. moving on. so it's been a summer of squalor for me and it's time to get down to business. i've let negative thoughts and bad behavior set the tone for me in past months and that, friends, is no way to be. so it really is new leaf time. and i'm kicking it off tonight by dyeing my hair darker. only semi-permanent dye, of course (i am such a chickensh*t), but i'm dyeing it nonetheless. darker hair will hopefully mean i take myself more seriously. should be interesting... and tomorrow i'm going to the home of the mountains. i get to spend some much-needed quality time with heather. i get to see my sister's darling face and introduce her to something i look forward to every year: dock night, bitches. if you need me on saturday night, don't bother calling. i'll be on the lake, drinking beers, floating on a noodle, and laughing my ass for no reason besides that it feels good. i need it. it's time. it's a perfect way to end months of debauchery and i don't do yoga so dock night is my "om." i'm ready to get back to me. focus focus focus.

and this is the truth

the only reason i have the urge to write any of this is because i've been drinking. i've been drinking a lot. yes, mom, i know; i've been engaging in that particular activity in excess as of late. i'm sorry and i'll try to do better. that being said, i'm tipsy and i have this much to say: we have nothing more to do in this world than to learn to trust ourselves. follow your gut, and then listen to your head. not the other way around. believe what you see, not what you wish was true. i know instantly what is in front of me before i think for one second, yet somehow i allow myself to ignore the simple facts and i complicate everything to the point of complete chaos. it's proven too much for me to handle and so this is me turning over a new leaf. listen to yourself melissa. trust that what you see is exactly what is there and have faith in your intuition. it's been right so far.

ugh jeez maaaaan

it's friday and i am COMPLETELY unmotivated to work. so i'm blogging. there's a big surprise. sabra won sytycd and i had been drinking so i was almost moved to tears. she totally deserved it and lacey was a hack so good riddance. i must make time this weekend to sleep. jesus i need it. also must make time for drinking... although i'm afraid i've been doing more than my share of that lately. after i made that fuss about the meteor shower last week, i effing missed it. what was i doing? i have no idea. i just missed it. not smoking is getting harder and not easier. i moved passed my replacement therapy and am no longer eating five snickers bars a day (which is GREAT news for my self-esteem) and so now i'm just thinking about cigarettes more. must maintain. true confession: i had one today. i did not enjoy it. but i did want it. so there. don't worry; no slip-sliding into a haze of smoke. i've come too far to go back (plus my lungs are begging me right now not to do that again). and while on the subject of smoking, i'd like to give a big A+ to my dad for quitting this summer, too. he did it the same way i did, and i am SOOOO proud as he has smoked for like 45 years or something. congrats, daddy! i don't think he reads this. it's probably better if he doesn't.... there are some things maybe you don't want your dad to know about you.... : ) also big ups to kat for quitting too. baby's so pleased! and now i won't be able to bum the occasional marlboro light from you and that is GOOD news for me. all right i'm just rambling at this point. i hope everyone has a great weekend. travel safely if you're leaving, and call me if you're not. : ) holla back.

dear summer,

listen, i know i said i was ready for this, but now i know i'm not. i hoped and i waited for you to get here, and when you finally showed up everything was better. flip flops, sunglasses, late sunsets... we had fun, didn't we? but now i think that maybe i'm in over my head. i find myself starting to resent you. and that's not fair to either of us. lately i just feel like you're putting too much pressure me. i mean, i can't even stand outside for 5 minutes without breaking into a sweat. what's changed, and why? no, don't answer. it doesn't matter. let's just call this what it is: too much of a good thing. please don't cry; this is only temporary. and if you'll have me, i'm sure that there'll come a time when i'm begging you to come back. but for now, i think it's time you left. i'll never forget you.
love always,
melissa

planet unicorn

just when you think sunday is worthless... do yourself a favor and go watch all of them.

clap clap clap your hands

because baby girl is graduating!!! tonight they're going to call tater tot's name and she'll walk across that stage and OFFICIALLY be a college graduate. i am soooooo proud; i'm getting a little vehklempt sitting here typing this. my little girl is all grown up! congratulations, tatum! and the idiot still cheering when everyone else has sat down will be me, just fyi.
also, there's a meteor shower this weekend. iiiiiiiii love 'em. according to msn.com, sunday night after midnight is the best time to see them, and apparently this one is going to be badass. hopefully i don't get hit with a meteor while i'm laying in the backyard staring at the sky.
my horoscope this morning said that my recent turmoil at work and home would work itself out and that my energies would center this weekend. consider me centered, folks. it's friday, it's the 222nd day of the year, it's t minus 40 days until my birthday, and everything is okay.
it's a good vibe day, a day of good vibes. hope yours is the same, and have a good weekend!
p.s. look to your right.... SAME NIGHT SAME NIGHT! : )

sweet and sour jesus...

...i've been busy. i just heard stephen colbert say "sweet and sour jesus" and i thought it was funny. yikes, i hope he doesn't copywrite those kinds of thing.
ANYWHO i have been bzz bzzz bzzing like a little bee for the last little bit and there is no end in sight. i've been trying to whistle while i work but it's hard to whistle when you're crying WHEN LORD WHEN?!? WHEN'S GON BE MY TIME? name that movie (COUGHi'm talking to you meganCOUGH). what i'm getting at (not so coherently) is that i've been b-b-b-busy up at the ol' office job and i'm beginning to lose my patience. they ought to pay me double what i make just for putting up with it. i know i know, oh my god melissa's complaining. how VERY unlike her. : ) so i'll zip it and show you the only two pics i've got (for now) from new yawk:

this one is of my mommy's garden. i loooove the smell of basil. and that back porch is rockin.' (ha! that's what she said.)
have you ever read anything by richard russo? if you haven't you should check out nobody's fool (or you could watch the movie. it's amazing. paul newman. melanie griffith. of course it's amazing.) anyhow, the book is set in bath, ny and i didn't know that that was an actual place until we drove through on the way back to buffalo. my lovely and obliging mother pulled over so that i could get this picture. it probably means nothing to anyone but me. and that's just fine. : )

and IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, this guy turned the big 2-4 on saturday. i would've dedicated an entire post to him on that day, but i was too busy taking a shot for every reason that i love him. and that's a buttload of shots, mike. toooo druuuunk toooo poooost. happy belated birthday!

okay, that may be it for now. there are more pics of my vacation and dammit YOU WILL SEE THEM just as soon as i let you. until then, onward christian soldiers. left left left right left.

no fists on hips, no scowling

i just noticed that, like, my last five posts are all me whining about something. good lord. what a cry baby! count your many blessings, name them one by one:

• tomorrow is friday.
• i had spinach dip for dinner and it was YUMMO.
• my luggage is back! they found my luggage!
• lil meg will be here in less than 24 hours.
• did i tell you about the spinach dip because it was great.
• no one's home right now. mmmm quiet.
• weekend weekend weekend and just off of a vacation. what a lucky girl. : )
• everyone's blogging a lot and I LOVE IT.
• i guess that's about it.
• oh wait!
• august is almost september. COME ON BIRTHDAY.

that, friends, is a sizeable amount about which to be glad. good day. I SAID GOOD DAY.

oh boy am i pissed

damn you northwest. damn you all. here's the story (beat beat) of a lovely lady (beat beat) who is going to lose her shit over her flights home: i was supposed to come home monday night and be in little rock at about 8pm. on saturday night, i get a recorded call from northwest saying my flight was cancelled and that i had been rescheduled to leave buffalo on the 31st. i called the 800 number and advised them that that's-a no good and that it was imperative that i arrive in little rock on the 30th as originally planned. shuffle shuffle type type. the help desk person FINALLY (i swear neither of us said a word for like 10 minutes) says she can get on me on a Continental flight that will get me into little rock at like 11pm. not ideal, but fine. i called my boss and told her i would be coming in at noon on tuesday, made plans to have lunch with my dad (he was in capitol city monday night and tuesday and i was PLANNING on hanging out with him monday night when i got in but that was when i was going to be there at 8. the man hasn't seen 11pm since like 1978), and just tried to let it go. so mom and i show up at the airport on monday evening, ready to check in, and Continental doesn't have me scheduled to fly with them. the only information they have is me flying out with northwest on the 31st, on the gd rescheduled flight they tried to give me the first time. so by this point madre's face is 9 shades of red and the woman is ready to GET LOUD up in the airport (irish catholic, short fuse, the meanness can cover you like lava). we march back over to the northwest desk and basically say WTF NORTHWEST. shuffle shuffle. type type. so they get me on a flight at 9:30 yesterday morning, landing in little rock at 3pm. upside: i got to spend another night with my mom, they flew me back first-class the whole way (they bring you soda in a real glass. i kind of felt like a movie star), and i got to miss another day's work. downside: i missed a day's work, i missed my dad, and the best part is... wait for it... they lost my fucking luggage. FOR THE LOVE OF PETE. i had a great time with my mom, and i'll post the pictures to prove it soon. do not fly northwest. just don't. good gravy.