i didn't know before today

• one alcohol- and fried food- filled memorial day weekend is enough to reverse any progress made on making body hotter
• i can, if i choose to, accomplish absolutely nothing in a 24-hour period
• i kick ass at catch phrase
• when you're moving, money disappears so quickly it damn near evaporates
• giving clothes away feels good
• finding clothes i forgot i had feels better
• time flies, whether you're having fun or not
• i somehow instinctively know how to scramble eggs
• staying home last night was a bigger treat for me than going out would've been
• my eyebrows have about a two-day period where i love them; other than that they are either too thin or too full
• i might miss my little yellow room on garvin ave. more than i thought i would

debauchery by melissa

did anyone have as rad-ass a memorial day weekend as i did? jeezum crow, i thought 25 was old but i worked it like i was 20 again! i stayed up all night for three days straight, drank like alcohol was calorie-free, spent money like i'm some sort of trust fund baby, and had more fun than i can recall having in some time.

friday night: gusano's with megs, tatum, dulcinea, and dulcinea's brother for pizza and beers; willy d's with megan and cutie-patootie college kids at the next table; electric cowboy for a little (okay a lotta) ass shakin'.

saturday night: took the greatest shower ever taken by anyone, courtesy of one kat hills who advised me to take my time, and take my time i did; dinner and drinks with some sweet girls, one of whom was celebrating a biiiirthday (and you know my feelings on birthdays); dancing downtown to horrible music; then off to discovery (disco if ya hood, y'all) for a delightful drag show and loads of compliments from boys both gay and straight, of which i can never get enough.

sunday night: meggers came back to town, we met up with the cutie-patootie college kids at the saucer; then to sticky fingerz (by the way, were they having some sort of memorial day celebration or are beers there always only $2?!?); then to a new pal's gorgeous apartment for more drinking, dancing, and playing. additionally, i definitely DID get into the pool at 2am with nothing but my bra and panties on, in the pouring rain. i guess if you get on a treadmill three or four days a week your self-confidence goes through the roof. :)

and yesterday i just packed. packed and cleaned and decided what to trash and what to keep. I AM MOVING THIS WEEKEND OMG.

and that's about it, boys and girls. what did you get up to? and did you have fun doing it?

plugged in, charged up

way back wednesday is becoming increasingly difficult for me, so this may be my last edition. unless, of course, i happen to run across some old goofy pictures of me. in which case i will definitely share, way back style. :)

but i got to thinking about way back when today, and i started wondering about what my life was like before modern technology. i'm not as tuned in as some, but i email, blog, twitter, and all of that these days. i mean, i can remember when getting my own phone line at home was a huge deal and how hearing it ring would make my heart beat faster, knowing that someone was calling me specifically (or megan... we shared a line... i mean, we're twins and all... beside the point). and when i was 16, mama and meg and i all got cell phones, and we gave up the land line. and i can remember thinking how rebellious and maybe sort of crazy that seemed. i mean, that was our PHONE. i guess i didn't really understand how a cell phone would change things. and now, i rely on that sucker more than i care to admit. i hate being without my little lg and all its lovely ringtones and notices of voicemails and text messages. and i wonder, what would happen if i didn't have it? what would my life be like without a way to communicate at any time in any place? and what about this blog? would i still keep a journal if i didn't blog? probably, and i bet it would be a LOT more personal. i'm on twitter, i'm on facebook, i'm fully exposed. there are clearly pros and cons to the last decade or so's technological explosion, and this is a way bigger topic than i am willing to commit to discussing now, but i guess i'm just saying that this way back wednesday, i realize that, while my parents bored me with stories about life before color television, i'll be boring my kids with stories about letters that came with stamps on them. crazy, right?

yes i am

i am feeling very tough these days, outside and in. i feel untouchable, bulletproof, ninja-like. i am at the ready for any and all asses that need kicking, both literally and figuratively. i'm not sure where this feeling comes from or what mini-disaster will end it, but for now, in the words of alicia keys, "even when i'm a mess i still put on a vest with an 's' on my chest, oh yes, 'cause i'm a superwoman. yes i am."

perception is a bitch

this is what i am:

this is what i see:

do i have body dysmorphic disorder?

no, of course i don't have anything that sad or serious. all i have is an extended teenage case of the "i'm not cute enough"s and the "why don't i look like that"s. ugh ugh ugh. i recently started working out again, drinking (a little) less, and eating healthier. so why do i feel bigger than when i didn't do anything? since when does a pretty intense slash in calories (on most days) and grueling cardio equal feeling grosser than before? makey no sense. i mean, i'm not expecting my old self to show up overnight, but for cryin' out loud, the extra squish CANNOT get out of here fast enough.

okay, i just needed to get that off my chest. i'm still cute i'm still cute i'm still cute i'm still cute i'll be even cuter one of these days i'm still cute i'm still cute. will keep this mantra on repeat until at least 15 lbs are bye bye.

saturday morning bliss

my wbw this week stars the cartoons of my childhood. fraggle rock (i cannot hear those words together without screaming DOWN AT FRAGGLE ROCK!!! in my head), garfield and friends, pee-wee's playhouse, jem (omg she's totally outrageous), and more. and when i think back, i'm pretty sure i'd still be entertained by all these shows today. especially pee-wee... a friend of mine and i tried to reinstate the "word of the day" a few years back. remember? the robot would print out the word of the day and every time someone said it, everyone would scream? it was SO much fun when i was kid, and pretty effing fun as an adult, too.

i feel like nothing as good as this stuff is on tv for kids these days. and i'm sure the comments section will feature at least one or two people telling me i'm wrong, and proving me wrong, and that's fine. i don't have a child to monitor so i don't have as much exposure as one might. but i'm just sayin', i still watch cartoons. and the new teenage dora the explorer and those bratz doll hookers can't be doing for today's little kiddies what i KNOW the teenage mutant ninja turtles did for me.

rush of love

i've used both of these pictures before. i'm fine with that, and i'm sure you are, too. tatum and heather, so different and so alike. these little ladybugs have known me for so long, so much longer than sometimes i remember. they know so much about the me that existed before i knew most of you. they know my strengths, tolerate my faults, and love me truly. and of course, i love them to the moon and back every day, but especially on days like today, when they are so truly themselves: so naturally beautiful, so unflinchingly tough, so effortlessly gracious.

big ups, homegirls. you are each my north star in human form.

had to share

i find this insanely hilarious, and laughed aloud for a good two plus minutes at my desk upon viewing. make of that what you will.

so, kris allen is officially in the finale of american idol. and since he's from conway, there's apparently a TON of stuff going on in town the next few days, most of which i'll miss because, while i live in conway, i'm only there about 30% of any given weekday. anyhow, i've met the guy once and so i get to pretend in my head that i am a small part of his success. psychotic delusional disorder aside, that feels pretty good.

this post is incoherent, boring, and not even slightly amusing. my apologies if you wasted your time reading it until the end. :)

weather-related frowns

i'm as over the rain now as i was on sunday. i always get super jazzed when there's rain in the forecast, but i feel like after a week of this with no end in sight that i'm stuck in some apocalyptic summer blockbuster a la the day after tomorrow. will all this wetness make the summer greener? fingers crossed. i can deal with it if there's a pay-off.

and now, my wbw. i couldn't find a satisfactory picture of me or anyone else. (maybe the rain also makes me finicky?) so instead, i decided to take you way back in a different way: way back when THIS candy bar was the greatest invention of my young life:

anyone remember whatchamacallits? omg, i lived and died for them. perhaps the fact that i had one for a snack every day after school in the sixth grade has indirectly contributed to my serious issue with instant gratification...

all right, that's it. i'm out. workey work. then top model. then wine. then bed. xo

for real though

this rain can take a fucking hike. i'm over it. the novelty is no longer present. i am typically a pro-rain person, but this bout of it has caused the following small tragedies:

• dangerous drive back from russellville yesterday going 15 mph below the speed limit west on I-40
• cancelled meiko concert at festival in town that i was really REALLY looking forward to
• saturday night at home instead of out, which was good for my body but bad for my mood
• sopping wet jeans bottoms all day every day
• overuse of windshield wipers and a reminder that i need to replace them both
• crazy hair... i am less than cute as a frizzy head

the good news is that i'm pretty sure there is no pollen in sight anywhere. plus, i don't wash my car so mother nature's got the malibu looking all shiny.

hope everyone had a good weekend. if you're dry, i'm envious. (that's what she said.)